Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Kiss Kiss Hug Hug

Who doesn't love the Valentine's Day mixtape? A gesture that says "I care enough to make something for you, but I'm also too hip for Valentine's Day." Anyhow, I thought for this Valentine's Day, I'd make a mix for all of you. So here's some romance-oriented music and some rambling.

Artists love to write music about love. For good reason, of course... Love thrills, emboldens, wrenches, frustrates, and entices. It can be overwhelming and exhilarating. It can be suffocating and devastating. It is superior subject material.

I think I've been in love once before, but given how I felt by the time the relationship ended I'm not sure how real it was. How much of it was me transposing my desire for stability and security onto a relationship that wasn't destined for longevity? I suppose it's not that I doubt that I loved him, but that I doubt the reasons I did. Granted your love for another person is inextricably linked to your perception of how that person fits into your life, but you have to love the individual outside of their rightness for your life. You can't just love a person because they love you. You shouldn't love a person because you need them. And you probably have to love yourself (at least a little) before you can really love another person.

Often I find myself averse to romance, particularly commercial or manufactured romance. I don't know if my distaste for romance is a fixed feature of my personality or just a product of my current circumstance. It is possibly an acquired defense mechanism, although I don't recall relishing romantic moments in my past. To be sure, I appreciate thoughtful gestures as much as the next person (fresh tulips will always make me happy). It's the over-the-top stuff that makes me cringe. Stuffed animals are antithetical to my being. Besides, I'm convinced that the little everyday moments - the ones that make you tingle at first and still make you smile a thousand times later - are worth more than a box of chocolates any day.


At 2:08 AM, February 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

From the perspective of a guy, I would ascribe my distaste for heavily commercialized holidays to the pressure that they imply. "This is supposed to be a special day for romance", or "buy Christmas presents for all these people"... Or maybe I'm just lazy.

Anyway, be honest: the allure of a stuffed puppy or a baby seal is pretty hard to resist :)


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