me re: my life

Lab Coat Nazi

Setting: 7th floor laundry. Hundreds of clean hanging lab coats organized haphazardly (no regard for size). Many coats are stained, missing buttons, pockets torn off or open. We used to have free reign in this room to get our own coats... no more.

Characters: me, newly-hired laundry staff member (aka. lab coat nazi)

Scene 1:

• Me: I need a new lab coat.
• Nazi: Didn't I just give you one a few days ago?
• Me: Yes, and now it's covered in blood, poop and anal glands. I need a new one.
• Nazi: What size?
• Me: 38 or Small.
• Nazi: (scanning aimlessly) I don't know if i have that.
  
• Me: Can I just look? There were a ton here last week.
  
• Nazi: I can't let you in here anymore.
• Me: Why not?
• Nazi: That's the rules.
• Me: Fine. Just give me a coat.
• Nazi: (finding a Small missing two buttons) Here. You're lucky.
  
• Me: Thanks.

As if I should actually need to feel "lucky" for being given a defective lab coat. As if a clean lab coat is somehow a privilege and not a necessity.

Scene 2:

• Me: (finding the door to laundry locked) via overhead page: Laundry to the Laundry Room.

ten minutes later....

• Me: via overhead page: Laundry to the Laundry Room.

ten minutes later....

• Me: (muttering) This place is ridiculous. Heads down to clinics in poopy lab coat.

Scene 3:

• Me: (finding the laundry room open and unattended, rifles through the disorganized racks, finds an appropriately sized, clean, intact lab coat).
• Nazi: (finding an intern in her laundry room) What are you doing in here? You can't be in here.
• Me: Why not? I need a lab coat. I'm not going to steal them. Or hoard them. Or do ANYTHING inappropriate with them.
• Nazi: Tell that to my boss.
• Me: Who's your boss?
• Nazi: Dxx Rxxxx
• Me: (rolling eyes, sarcastic) No problem. Tell her to come find me if she has a problem with lab coats.

Needless to say, my patience is wearing thin. Particularly about things like lab coats.

posted by Anne @ 12:03 AM