Sunday, February 20, 2005

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

That's the title of a book I own and a damn funny book it is. It's full of pithy little pieces of advice and criticisms of life. Some of my favorites:

You're a whore. You'd do almost anything for a million bucks, right? That makes you a whore. A high-priced whore, but a whore, nonetheless. Raise your rates.

We have a screwed up calendar. The calendar that rules our lives is a disaster. February is short, but Augustus Caesar (August) and Julius Caesar (July) both had to have long months named after them. And February 29 only shows up every four years like some strange comet. There are fixed holidays, like July 4, and religious holidays like Easter or Chanukah that float around. Find a priest and ask him how Christ's birth can stay fixed on one day, but his death date keeps changing.

Only the strong survive. Darwin was right when he came up with his "survival of the fittest" theory. Save up your money. The strong may be fierce, but they can be bought, too.


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