Saturday, February 19, 2005

Dear Diary

Ever since my older brother picked the lock on my diary when I was eight, I've been suspicious of the security of a diary or journal. I mean, really... you're going to write your innermost thoughts and confidences down and then just leave it lying around your room? In college I remember occasionally spotting a journal around someone's dorm room and being amazed at people's ability to trust their roommates and neighbors. Why in the world would I trust my crazy roommate I've just met to NOT read my journal? I guess you can have faith in people understanding that reading someone's journal would be horribly invasive and a real breach of trust, but.... I'm skeptical.

So sophomore year in college I started keeping my journal on my computer, in a triple password protected file. Yes, any legitimate computer hacker-type person could easily access it I'm sure, but I don't know many people like that and why in the world would they care what I say? So, at this point it's 50 single spaced pages long, some 150,000 characters... of nothing of substance. I don't know what I'm ever going to do with this journal. It's amusing to read through it and follow the ups and downs of my life - it certainly adds some perspective to both old and new situations, but what will happen to it? Will I just keeping writing in it forever?

This blog has become something of a competitive force with the journal. Personal events and my tirades about whatever I'm currently freaking out about will go in the journal, while innane stories and ramblings occasionally end up in the blog. I think this blog may also be influencing my life...

Sometimes, as I'm going through my day, I think, "Hmmm... Is there anything bizarre here that I can blog about?" Which begs the question, do I write about interesting things that happen to me in my blog or am I actively seeking out interesting things just for the purpose of blogging? I'm hoping it's more of the former rather than the latter. I haven't found any interesting things of late, hence the repeated posting of photos and silly limericks - I promise I'll try to do better and leave these ridiculous ramblings for my ultra-confidential-maximum-security-journal.


At 12:16 AM, February 21, 2005, Blogger Paul Irish said...

When I started livejournaling, I had the same experience.
And then I started feeling guilty when I didn't post. Days and days would go by and I hadn't made a post. People were waiting for an update and I felt horrible.
Eventually, I realized how stupid that is. I decided to live and let my blog refect my life when I had the time to let it.

I like to think that my life is blog-worthy, even though I don't diary it daily... But I can't say I don't mind the blog's existence keeping that question in check..


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