Sunday, April 23, 2006

Nuptial Notes

I went to a close friend's wedding yesterday in the New York/New Jersey area. The whole affair was quite nice and talking to the bride at the end of the night she seemed genuinely happy and relaxed and like she'd had a great wedding. Seeing her so happy made the whole evening worth it.

The more weddings I go to though, the less and less the idea of a traditional wedding appeals to me. As much as I absolutely love fancy dresses and pretty shoes and sparkly jewelry in stores, on models or in a dressing room, about an hour is really all I can tolerate. Then I morph into this reserved, un-fun, apathetic shell of myself trapped in fancy clothing. I guess maybe if I could have white Reefs I might feel differently... Or maybe if I weren't always frigid and cold whenever I wear a dress?

But it's not just the clothing comfort, or discomfort for that matter, it's the whole thing. I don't really like that it's a thing. I think I'd want to have it be simple and fun and warm and chill. Maybe something on a beach or in the mountains in the summer. Somewhere scenic.

Then there's the whole DJ/band/music/dancing business. I already know that I can't deal with it. I'm pretty certain that the idea of 200 people watching me dance with one person is my worst nightmare. I guess maybe you're in the moment? I don't know. Most brides and grooms that I've spoken to were acutely aware that everyone was watching them. I think that might be enough to ruin the entire affair for me. But I love music and it's a big part of my life. How to reconcile the two?

One thing that occurs to me though is that maybe if you're at the point in your life when you're making this big commitment to another person and you love someone so much that they mean more to you than anything else in the world, maybe then you really want all the stuff that accompanies the traditional wedding. Maybe. At least I hope that's why they all do it, not just because custom dictates that it should be so.

3 Comments:

At 11:33 PM, April 23, 2006, Anonymous Your brother said...

The best part of having a big "thing" for your wedding is that it's the only time in your life that you can get all of your family and friends together in one place. There is pretty much no other time in your life you can do that.

The dance isn't that painful - there's no more attention paid to you then than during the entire ceremony. We just ignored them and laughed with each other, but we're both the kind of people who don't mind being the center of attention. Also, we were just so happy that all the planning was over and we're just having a party.

 
At 11:11 AM, April 24, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason receptions always seem to be immediately after the ceremony. Why not have a simple small ceremony and then plan a celebration party/ reception for a different day and time - you can be casual, relaxed and not in a wedding dress "thing"

 
At 12:23 AM, April 25, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to get married at a winery during the spring, around sunset. I want my uncle (a minister) to officiate. After the pictures are taken, everyone can change into normal clothes, and then the BBQ dinner will come out. Or maybe it'll be potluck. I dunno. I really like bbq though. There will be NO spotlight dances - humiliation will be shared by all on the dance floor. And I will not be the first one to dance, unless I am extremely intoxicated.

Erin

 

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