Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A Quandary

The Samples - When the Day is Done

Insecurity is pathologic. Insecurity takes what could be easy or comfortable and makes it almost painful. Insecurity closes doors and narrows horizons. Unfortunately, knowing these facts is not enough to challenge its stronghold.

Alternatively, realism can prevent embarrassment. Having a realistic view of a situation can mitigate disappointment. Rarely is a person chastized for being insecure, but having a wholly unrealistic view of the world can certainly draw criticism.

About those moments in my life that I can't quite classify, I occasionally cringe in retrospect. Was I being insecure? Or was I being realistic? Did I miss out on something great because I was worried about what might happen? Or did I save myself a big trouble by avoiding a doomed encounter?

I beat myself up a lot for thinking too much and my mental flip-flops of insecurity vs. realism. Is my realism just insecurity masquerading as pessimism? If so, what's the answer? How do I let go and just live?


At 2:28 PM, July 27, 2005, Blogger KDunk said...

you turn 30 that's how. and then it all falls into place. trust me. i've been a lot like this my whole life too.

At 4:25 PM, July 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is one of the larger and more formidable arguments I have in my mind from time to time. Am I overly optimistic? Am I realistic? If you think too much you're as guilty of that as I am. Just try and not limit yourself, don't close doors. It is something I've been striving for lately, and I've had a few very interesting experiences lately because of it.

At 12:55 AM, August 03, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have always found the following to be a solid barometer: Would I rather have taken a chance, potentially fail, yet gain a new perspective/experience from it, or not have tried at all and always be left to wonder? Personally, I take the the first choice as I feel the risk of a potentially positive new experience far outweighs the potential for regret at not having tried at all and being left to wonder.

At 10:44 PM, August 09, 2005, Blogger Karen said...

I believe insecurity is the mind's way of communicating our ambivalence about something. Often this is our own self - should I or shouldn't I? Does he or doesn't he? Did I? Did I want to? Should I have done that? Said that? Oh crap, what will they think? I find insecurity crippling. The only thing that allows me to get beyond it is the notion that I don't see myself as others see me. Call this the realism part of me if you wish. I am my own worst critic and there is no one harder on me than me - common among twenty-something women (and others, I'm sure - I can only speak for myself). However, to live life to the fullest, I believe one must realize that the self can be its own worst enemy, that there are times that others in your life (the good souls) know better than you about who you are, however brief these times may be (and believe me, it takes a lot for me to be able to say that others can be more right than me!) and you come to a place where, for a moment, you realize others see you more positively and more accurately than you do. Only then (combined with LOTS of therapy) am I able to overcome the insecurity. Even so, it's often momentary or situational, but I do feel moments of enlightenment where I am secure in my self. Holy run-on sentences, Batman! Don't even know if that made sense...the point being - I hear you loud and clear, Anne, and you are not alone. Your BFF from KC, MO...


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